Voice Critique

Here is my voice critique of a blog titled, "Life must go on in Gaza and Sderot". This blog is written by two friends, Peaceman and Hopeman. Peaceman lives in a refugee camp in Gaza and Hopeman lives in Sderot, a small Israeli town across the border with Gaza. I decided to take a closer look at a post from each writer although Hopeman is more recent as the conflict has kept Peaceman from access to stable communication and therefore does not have as many recent posts. The first post I will talk about is titled "2 weeks and still going". 

The first thing that stood out to me as I read the post was the sense of urgency and desperation conveyed by Hopeman. Although the post itself is describing the awful situation on the ground and the events occurring related to the conflict, it is Hopeman's use of short sentences which seemed to convey to me not only a sense of desperation but of panic. They are short staccato sentences almost like someone is out of breath from running miles and cannot get the words out fluidly. It also reminds me of a machine gun firing round after round, rounds which much like these sentences, travel fast and have a critical impact. Here is an excerpt from the post, 

"On the Israeli side 1 million people are in the range of the rockets from Gaza. Many people have fled to safer areas in Israel. Most rockets are hitting in open areas, however some have injured civilians and lot's of damage has been caused to homes and buildings. People are in constant fear and alert. The war has created chaos in most of the southern part of Israel. No school or university studies, people are not allowed to crowd which means no weddings and other gatherings are not allowed, many businesses are closed and people have not been to work for 2 weeks".

The text is informative, relaying critical information to its readers with great clarity and little flare. Yet again, I am drawn to relate it to something else such as an urgent military radio transmission wherein there is only time for the most vital of information and all else is withheld. I am inclined to think that Hopeman's voice in this blog is a reflection of the the intense feelings he must have been going through when writing this. The words he uses are simple but describe the situation with great clarity and every sentence seems to carry the weight of truth. Hopeman's voice does seem to calm down a little further in the post as he begins to describe his family's situation. He then picks it back up again with these sentences, 

"It feels rather normal however as I type, I can clearly hear the sounds of war. Blasts and planes, shooting and helicopters. A horrible war so close across the border. I am horrified by the number of civilian casualties in Gaza. The civilians are to suffer once again from the brutality and incompetence of their leaders and this time the result is worse than ever".

Here we have more of the short urgent sentences but now we can begin to see the resignation of Hopeman in this matter. For me these sentences convey strong feelings of sadness and regret. Further on in the post, Hopeman uses a rhetorical question to highlight the absurdity of the idea that there was no other option but war.

"This war has broken out for the simple reason that neither side was willing to make a serious effort to avoid it. Both sides were sharpening their swords waiting for the next horrible round.Was there no other option? Of course there was!".

All throughout the post Hopeman is strongly using pathos to reach the readers and this rhetorical question is another direct appeal to the reader's emotions. There is not, in my opinion, any other way to write about war (especially when your own country is involved) that can convey the intensity of the situation to others and that can jolt people into thinking like humans again and pierce the us/them mentality. 

The post by Peaceman I looked at is titled, "war in Gaza". I found this post to be even more urgent and distressing than Hopeman's mentioned post. The post contains relatively short sentences bringing a lot of information to the readers. The text has minor errors throughout such as this one,

"But when the ground operation started, most people die is civilians and children".

Of course, I only mention such trifling errors (ESPECIALLY from a blogger in Gaza, with only limited time to send a message, whose first language probably isn't English) because they do add a dimension to the writer's voice that allows his character to be seen more clearly. The errors definitely allude to a rushed and urgent voice who I believe was probably more interested in sharing his true experiences and feelings in those fleeting moments then trying to influence unknown perceptions of the life and death conflict the Gazans are locked into. Peaceman's post was short but powerful in that it conveyed the sense of powerlessness and helplessness the Gazan's are experiencing right now. Take this post for example,

"It is hard to describe what is going on in Gaza, a terrible disaster, where the aircraft do not distinguish between civilians and military and children, no water ,electricity and difficult to get your needs".

Both writers had very strong emotional voices that still had an air of coherence and logic surrounding them. They were not just wildly raving about their fear or uncertainty or the horrible loss of human life although all those things were mentioned. Neither were they expressing any political or ideological views views except when calling for an end to the violence and a permanant lasting cease-fire. I found their voices to be of the best kind, sincere and honest.